 |
The
Cross - Religion Family
- Sangeeta
In a cross-religion family, traditional
celebrations are a great way to introduce children to each religion. This
helps foster tolerance and integrity, and aids the complete development
of a child.
When two people belonging to different
religions tie the knot, this raises several issues which are to be resolved
before starting a family. For instance, When Suresh married Shabnam, a
Muslim, it was decided that Shabnam convert to her husband's faith and
vegetarianism, as he hailed from a Jain family. However, they decided
to reside in a Muslim neighbourhood, so the children have an exposure to
both cultures.
First and foremost, the couple should
decide how they want to raise their children, and at the same time should
refrain from rigidity.
Next, they should create an environment
of constant interaction and expression in the house. This will not only
help the parents deal with their own situation of inter-faith, but also
enable them to raise their children with the tradition and values desired.
The best time to teach children the
value of religious practice and philosophy is during celebrations, when
they are very young. At that time, a child is discovering and grasping,
and any celebration is a time for fun, filled with relatives, friends,
laughter and eats. Religion or its connotations do not have any importance
for a toddler, but the ritual of say, lighting diyas and bursting crackers
during Diwali is a source of enjoyment for him. By doing so, he does not
automatically belong to one faith or another. One must always remember, children have
a more simple and direct way of regarding things, and one must not let
our own concerns or prejudices overshadow their simple enjoyment.
Many interfaith families do ascribe
to dual or integrated celebrations, which maybe a good way to bring up
children in a rapidly changing social environment. In such case,
the children may experience both rituals. They can observe each of their
parents following the rituals associated with the celebration, and gain from this
experience. It need not be necessary for the children to actually participate;
mere observance or varying degrees of participation should suffice.
For instance, celebrating Christmas as well as Janmashtami will not only
help the couple understand each other better and strengthen their marriage,
it will also teach the children tolerance and love. They
will learn the qualities of faith, goodwill and devotion, through these
stories of the birth of Jesus Christ and Lord Krishna. After all, it is meaningful,
enjoyable rituals that hold a family together, and religion is not always
the factor but the tradition behind it is what should matter.
As children grow older and begin
to understand the difference between family traditions and religious practices,
one should then imbibe in them the religious values sought to be inculcated.
We must remember that children learn the values of integrity and tolerance
from their family. Religious training of any kind does not necessarily
ensure the development of good character. It can only reinforce
the values and spirit found in the family. Besides, religious training
should always be accompanied with proper parental interpretation and guidance,
otherwise it may even be experienced as a negative force. After all, history
is replete with instances of bloodshed in the name of religion. So, families
who observe, even cursorily, dual faiths in a single household, are at
an advantage in having a more tolerant approach.
It is not very important to have
lots of rituals or religious traditions, but to have meaningful ones. Rather
than overwhelm them with religious customs, the significance and the messages
of love, brotherhood and integrity embedded in each faith should be emphasized.
If you have the right attitude, exploring
cross religions or even cross cultures can be fun! An excellent example
is our very own popular media personality Farida Jalal and her
family. The 'secret' of a happy inter-faith marriage, as she stated in
a popular TV show, is to give space to each partner to practice his or
her religion, and to bring up your children with respect for each faith.
To add your views on
this article or read others comments Click
Here
Back to Previous Page
More on Raising Children Index
Email this Article to a Friend
|
